No one tell Amanda...

So just a few quickie's today.

One... It's National Pink Day NO ONE TELL AMANDA. I love the girl but her scream can damage your ear drums for life. I noticed a permanent loss in my hearing after the trip to New Jersey when she started screaming about leprechauns in a rest area parking lot.

Two.... Conrad's back from his five day work related trip THANK GOD! Hopefully I can sleep through a whole night without all the waking up bad dream crap. Last night he was suppose to get home at 9:00 pm instead it was 3:00 am and I couldn't sleep cause I was all excited waiting to see him. I'm so very tired.

Three... Internet is acting funny at work I can't live without my internet fix. I'm going to go on a rampage and damage something.

Four... The boss is driving me nuts and I really should stop here. If I write my plans out then they can trace it back to me. Sigh it's just I've been telling him to do his own taxes for four months and he's been procrastinating it. All of a sudden he decides it needs to be done so he cancels his trip that I have rearranged appointments around three times and plans to stay in the office this weekend to do his taxes. Great but I'm tearing down the freaking computers for upgrade this Sunday at noon if your taxes aren't done your SOL cause were down for a week. This has to be the first time he's listened to me in the year and a half I've worked here. ACKKKKKKKKKKK Shoot me now.

Five... Clients are rude, annoying, and demanding today and I can't tell them to fuck off.

Ok I'm done I'm going to go tell the boss I'm leaving cause he won't shut up and finish his work.

Warning whining zone ahead...

Ok I am a Daddy's girl. Of course I have good reason to be. I grew up with a strong Dad who got custody of my only full sister and me when I was about one. Excluding the eight months spent with my mother as a preteen and the time spent in a children’s home shortly after that, he was the one taking care of me growing up. I respect my Dad for going from a married man with two very young children to taking on the role of a single Dad with two female's who made no sense to him what so ever. Even though I turned out all right, I am still completely convinced that my Dad thought I was a boy right up until the time that I grew breast and had a period. For these reasons and many more I admit it! In fact, I proudly proclaim to the world my status of a Daddy’s girl.

This being said, yesterday I was lured up to visit with promises of lasagna in 75-degree weather and the guilt of father’s day. Dad lives in Lewiston, which is not to far away but not exactly a fun place to visit seeing as it is dirty, smelly, and prone to car vandalism. The point is I had fun and a lot of it. The food was palatable and fully cooked. The family was in a great mood with no fights breaking out and all blood feuds being called to a halt for the day. My sisters (he's not good enough for her) boyfriend was not there to distract her from being good company and my brother Brian actually took time off from being a gamer geek to visit with the non-RPG characters infiltrating his lair. I spent about five hours being praised for being a bright kid and basically being help captive by Dad and my Step Mum before being grudgingly allowed to leave with a box full of food because apparently gaining 15 pounds and barely fitting into my jeans means I've lost weight not gained it. GOD I LOVE MY FAMILY! In fact the only bad point to the whole visit was me having to “play nice” with the only family member that I can actually say I STRONGLY dislike and whose presence I avoid in all situations if possible.

After going home and calming my stomach down a little (not just from the cooking), I attempted to go to bed and had thee worst nightmares ever. You see I live in this dream world where if I just try to pretend everything is all right and good with the world it will be. Unfortunately that does not work with things like a Dad who I adore going in for a surgery that could be prevented if he would smarten up change his diet and stop smoking. Deep down I know He’s going to die and while we are all going to go sooner or later I prefer… no I NEED my Dad to go later. Unfortunately, my dreams remind me that my reality is vastly different from what I pretend it to be. I get my stubbornness from my Dad and I know he will continue to do what he wants and when he goes it will be from being too damn stubborn to bend to the doctors request for heather eating habits and completely quitting smoking. Still, I really hate dreams where I wake up screaming and no one is there to calm me down. That and I could have used more than four hours of sleep on a work night.

Sorry for the whining I am just tired……………..

So many things to do so little time...

Today is June 16 and is National Hollerin' Contest Day.

I would apologize for not posting in awhile but hey I have been busy as all hell so deal.

Cat's graduation was wonderful. I was not aware until I was taping it but she graduated with high honors and was the person who did the turning of the tassels. She looked great even in her push up bra and hooker heels. She is just so damned tiny and hates every second of it. I drove over with my other sister Mary Ellen. (One of these days I will do a family tree and you will see how many siblings I have.) We had fun watching Cat be all grown up and talked about when she was all tiny and stuff. It is strange I feel time is flying by so fast. I could have sworn I dropped her on her head just last week. Wait, no I dropped Brian. Mary dropped Catherine. Hmmm maybe Mary stunted her growth. Mary and I went for drinks afterwards and then I drove her home. I never get to spend any one on one time with the siblings any more so it was really nice even if all she did was complain about her mother in-law. I am sure I would complain if I had one to.

My graduation was great as well. I did not fall on my ass, I did not trip on the stage, and I did not get a bloody nose just before having to walk, so all was good. Inge did the welcome speech and she was amazing. So much better than the others and that includes the politician. (Hmmm Inge have you ever thought about writing speeches for a living?) I got to see quite a few people I have not seen in the last few months and thank them yet again for their help in my classes. This is especially true for Melissa without whom I would have never made it through a majority of things. I forced my favorite teacher Mr. Carter to hug me too. He was all embarrassed it was great. A whole lot of people were there including family and I did not think it was going to be a big deal but as I was sitting there listening to Inge talk the realization hit that I was graduating and this was a important stepping stone in my life. Afterwards we all went back to the big house and got very drunk at the carnivores party. Ahhh the times that I cannot remember. I do know that I found what started out as my full bottle of tequila the next day and was horrified to discover it was complete empty and that only I was drinking out of it because I had it hid well. That would explain the horrible hangover I had that day and into the next. Great party though. :)

The following Saturday 6/11/05 we had Girls night out. Everyone looked fabulous and real effort was made to go fancy just as I had hoped. We started out at the Armory and let me tell you the chocolate cake martini is so yummy. After awhile it was time to move on so half of us stayed to finish drinks in progress and the other half walked over to Una's where I had a prickly pear margarita and something else that I could not even say let alone spell. Then right before 11:00 we walked or staggered to the Asylum to get in free and for much cheaper drinks. Once there we met up with the men folk who had been hanging out in various bars of their own all night and were feeling good as well. I would like to say that is was not my intention to drink heavily. I fully intended to stay just tipsy but combining martinis and tequila just set me over the edge. As far as I know everyone had a wonderful time spent way to much money and did nothing stupid so it was all good. Afterwards I went home with my wonderful and amazing boyfriend who took care of me because I could not even figure out how to get out of my clothing never mind find the bed.

Somehow that Saturday night I wound up getting a free ticket to VNV Nation who played in Boston the next day. The show was wonderful I loved NIN's but I have to admit VNV put on one hell of a show. They were so nice. Throwing water to the over heated crowd, telling jokes in between songs, talking to people they could see and then they sang and were simply amazing. Tallon gave me their newest CD for a graduation gift and I do not think I appreciated it fully until I heard it live. Yes, I was dangerously close to passing out the entire show. I dunked my head in the sink twice. Applied ice to every pulse point I had. Was helped to the door no less than 4 times to get air and was being held up by Tallon and Psichron . Without question it was worth it and I am so glad I was invited.

It has been a busy few weeks and through it all has been one major theme. Fun and friends I am glad I get to enjoy them together.

Oh on a side note....Endless Skies is possibly my favorite song off of the new VNV Nation Album called "Matter and form" the words are beautiful. Take a look, do a search, and listen to the rest. When your done go buy this album!!!

Endless Skies

How many years since you found yourself
Staring at an endless sky?

Unaware of yourself
Who you are and where you're going
Only living
Only breathing
Losing all sense of time

The most fragile of things
Captivates and embraces you
Surrender and be witness
To this rarest of moments

You live within the sense
Of the order of things
What is truth
What is important
What defines you

No need to fear
No need to worry
About years that passed
About time you lost

Live seconds as a lifetime
Time it does not matter
You live within the sense
Of the stillness of time

No reason

Ok I don't know why I'm starting to wig out now.

There's no reason for it.

The only thing I can think of is I'm anxious to be graduating tomorrow but why would I be having anxiety attacks and depression spells over achieving a goal in my life? Even if this is the first thing I set my mind to and actually achieved for myself and not for someone else. I just have this vague sense of dread I can't explain it. It makes no freaking sense. Someone hit me over the head with something till I smarten up will ya.

On a side note from Doomsville....today my baby sister Catherine is graduating high school. I am so proud of her. Prouder than I am of myself. Now if she can just stay the course and continue through to collage instead of screwing around like the rest of us kids did she could do well for herself. Pssssst Cat don't move in with the boyfriend their all evil and hormonal at that age. Just remember David and stay away from the dark side of the force.

Stop and Celebrate

Well it’s June 1 and a new list of holidays are needed so here goes….

Bizarre Holidays in June
Adopt-A-Shelter-Cat Month, American Rivers Month, Cancer In The Sun Month, Dairy Month, Turkey Lover's Month, National Accordion Awareness Month, National Fresh Fruit and Vegetable Month, National Ice Tea Month, National Papaya Month, National Pest Control Month, National Rose Month, Fight The Filthy Fly Month, and Zoo and Aquarium Month (My favorite is Fight The Filthy Fly Month)

June 1 is . . . . . Dare Day (Go ahead I dare you)
June 2 is . . . . . National Rocky Road Day (mmmm)
June 3 is . . . . . Repeat Day (More rocky road)
June 4 is . . . . . Old Maid's Day (Do I qualify yet?)
June 5 is . . . . . Festival Of Popular Delusions Day (HA HA HA So Santa, The Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy all on the same day huh)
June 6 is . . . . . Teacher's Day and National Applesauce Cake Day (Yay applesauce It’s about time it got its own day)
June 7 is . . . . . National Chocolate Ice Cream Day (Wow ice cream month or what)
June 8 is . . . . . Name Your Poison Day (Tequila)
June 9 is . . . . . Donald Duck Day (ok WHAT??)
June 10 is . . . . National Yo-Yo Day (fun for the whole family except the ones who use them as weapons)
June 11 is . . . . National Hug Holiday and King Kamehameha Day (have you hugged your king today?)
June 12 is . . . . Machine Day (When they rise up and REVOLT or not)
June 13 is . . . . National Juggling Day and Kitchen Klutzes Of America Day (These two strangely belong together)
June 14 is . . . . Pop Goes The Weasel Day (so…many...jokes…must …not…say…them…)
June 15 is . . . . Smile Power Day (What power does your smile have)
June 16 is . . . . National Hollerin' Contest Day (Again fun for the whole family)
June 17 is . . . . Watergate Day and Eat Your Vegetables Day (Why do we have a day for Watergate and is this the only day vegetarians get to eat?)
June 18 is . . . . International Panic Day (Oh I can celebrate this one no problem)
June 19 is . . . . World Sauntering Day (and saunter, turn, saunter, turn,…)
June 20 is . . . . Ice Cream Soda Day (NO more ice cream)
June 21 is . . . .Cuckoo Warning Day (Are we talking clocks or people here?)
June 22 is . . . . National Chocolate Éclair Day (This should be dentist celebration month)
June 23 is . . . . National Pink Day (ACKKKKK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)
June 24 is . . . . Museum Comes To Life Day (Mummy’s will come to life and horrible movies will be made about it)
June 25 is . . . . Log Cabin Day (Well there’s bound to be one somewhere close I say we claim it as a national monument to the day)
June 26 is . . . . National Chocolate Pudding Day (Again with the sweets)
June 27 is . . . . National Columnists Day (I’ve got nothing here)
June 28 is . . . . Paul Bunyan Day (Does one celebrate by cutting down lots of trees,smacking a bull around,and digging into a mountain?)
June 29 is . . . . Camera Day (A paparazzi dream come true)
June 30 is . . . . Meteor Day (Are we talking major city destroying meteors or just pansy little never hit the earth stuff?)

If your pagan don't forget Litha or as it is more commonly referred to as the Summer Solstice on June 21 - June 22 (in the Northern hemisphere) or December 21 - December 22 (in the Southern hemisphere).