Forward it is..

I’m a little bummed out today because I discovered I have missed out on some pretty cool holidays in April. Things like ….

National Welding Month

Weekly Celebrations:
Week 3 Organize Your Files Week
Week 4 National Karaoke Week

Each Day:
2 National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day (I really should have celebrated this I lived off the things during tax season)
3 Don't Go to Work unless it is Fun Day and Tweed Day (Ok no to the tweed and no to work)
4 Hug a Newsman Day, Walk around Things Day and Tell a Lie Day (So if we see the newsman we need to go up to him, walk around him very fast, hug him, then tell him a lie. What a great holiday)
5 Fun at Work Day (Not possible)
6 Plan Your Epitaph Day (Fun for the whole family)
8 Draw a Picture of a Bird Day (Why??)
13 Blame Somebody Else Day (Today it’s …Ian’s fault. Why? Well, why not? It could have been anyone’s fault.)
17 National Cheeseball Day (Because everyone loves cheese.)
19 National Garlic Day (Not for our Vampire friends.)
20 Look Alike Day (I’m confused, am I suppose to look for my look alike, or try to look like someone else?)
24 Pig in a Blanket Day (I remember those. It has been forever since I’ve had one though.)
25 National Zucchini Bread Day (Again why?)
26 National Pretzel Day (So are we celebrating the food or the act of turning ourselves into pretzel like shapes? Twister needs to be involved if it’s the later of the two.)
27 Executive Admin's Day or Secretary's Day (Yep I missed it, or more accurately my boss did because he doesn’t appreciate me)
28 Kiss Your Mate Day (Isn’t this everyday?)
29 National Shrimp Scampi Day (Taste good but why do I have to celebrate it? What has it done for me lately?)
30 Hairstyle Appreciation Day and National Honesty Day (I can see needing a holiday to appreciate hair styles but why do we need a day set aside for honesty?)

Therefore, in an effort to celebrate May’s holidays properly I am posting a list of the more interesting ones with a few suggestions where appropriate on how you can celebrate. Enjoy!!

Month:
Date Your Mate Month (Again this should be every day of the year people)
National Barbecue Month (Yum)
National Hamburger Month (Yay Meat!! Ok so that sounds wrong until you realize I live with a vegetarian)
National Recommitment Month (For those of you who really need to)
Older Americans Month (What!!!)

Weekly Celebrations:
Week 2 Wildflower Week
Week 3 National Police Week (I just like that this is followed by wildflower week)

Each Day:
1 Loyalty Day or Save the Rhino Day (So be loyal to your Rhino)
3 Lumpy Rug Day (OMG)
4 National Candied Orange Peel Day (I didn’t know there was such a thing as candied orange peel and now there’s a day dedicated to it!)
5 Cinco de Mayo, National Hoagie Day, and Oyster Day (So this could be a messy messy day if you combined all three celebrations into one.)
6 Beverage Day, National Tourist Appreciation Day, and No Diet Day (Drink a lot, don’t shoot the tourist, and eat anything you want.)
7 International Tuba Day (Please no)
8 No Socks Day (I’ve got nothing here)
9 Lost Sock Memorial Day (WOW)
11 Eat What You Want Day (Well ya considering the 6th)
12 Fatigue Syndrome Day (It’s a Thursday this year I can see that.)
14 Birth Mother's Day (See I need this day because I’ve got way to many mom’s lol)
15 National Chocolate Chip Day (Chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.)
16 Love a Tree Day (Not that kind of love pervert.)
17 Pack Rat Day (A day for me.)
18 No Dirty Dishes Day and Visit Your Relatives Day (These two just belong together.)
20 National Be a Millionaire Day (I’ll participate in this one if you provide the million!)
24 National Escargot Day (I’d like to say yuck but I’ve never tried it.)
30 Water a Flower Day (Just one don’t over do it.)31 National Macaroon Day, Save Your Hearing Day, and World No Tobacco Day (Eat macaroons while wearing ear plugs so you don’t hear your significant other screaming that he or she needs a cigarette.)

Today in history Gideon Sundback of Hoboken, N.J. patented the zipper. (1913) That was a very important invention so why are we not celebrating that? We could even have a following celebration to protect the penis from the zipper.

Getting my bearings…

As you can see, I started this blog at a horrible time. I really should have known better. I mean tax season was sneaking up on me and here I was thinking gee I think I'll start writing. Duh, I know better! I barely had time to eat, sleep, and throw on clothing this season never mind take the time to write complete sentences.

So, what has happened during the last four months? Well let's see. I have had two deaths in the family one Aunt and one Uncle, on opposites sides of the tree. I was not particularly close to either one but I am from a very tight knit family and it hurts me to see my family hurt. I also had one friend pass on. A loving, caring woman who most definitely did not deserve to go the way she did. I did not share this last death with a whole lot of people, something that is somewhat rare for me considering I usually speak first and then regret the stupid things that come out of my mouth later.

There has been one more marriage in the family and this one is from the next to the last of the eligible siblings left. Guess who the last one is?? Oh, come on guess!! Yah that's right, according to a wide family poll the eldest of ten, and the only one of marriageable age to not be shackled in marriage, or have children at this time is (drum roll please) me. That interesting tidbit has been repeated way too much in the emails flying back and forth regarding this wedding. (I love my family so much I could shoot them at times.) To top off this year in weddings I have been informed I will be attending two very different weddings and I am expected to smile at both apparently something I am not known to do at weddings.

My best friend has broken up with her boyfriend of a year and is now planning to move to either Vermont or some other place to damned far away from me.

To top the wild months of winter off there are so many females knocked up or fast approaching due dates that I can not keep up. When did this baby craze happen? I know I am of the age group where this stuff happens but I did not get the memo about breeding in packs!! (No offense to my hormonally challenged friends intended of course.)

With me personally despite a few medical mishaps none of which I want to whine about at this moment, Its been a fairly good year for me. I have my Associates graduation ceremonies in June and my first Pennsic to prepare for. Oh and I think this time I have found the one. (gasp, hand to forehead, queue the romantic music) Maybe I'm wrong but I don't know, he seems pretty damned perfect right now.