Off the road again... Just can’t wait to go off the road again……
Holy crap batman, road rage issues much!!!
I just had some guy scare the ever-living piss out of me. I was pulling out of the bank on RT25 in Standish. It is fairly busy this time of day so I saw an opening and I took it. The large red pickup truck that was coming up the road was far enough away that I had plenty of time to make it. So, I’m pulling out of the lot. Someone is of course behind me and I am about halfway into the road when I see the stupid idiot in his red penis envy truck speed up! What does he think I can do at this point? I am in the damned road, there is a little old lady behind me blocking my escape backwards, and he is looking like he’s going to ram me. Therefore, I speed up and pull the rest of my car out. Well the idiot does not slow down he gets right up on my bumper and I mean right up. I can see him screaming and the spit flying out of his mouth quite clearly. I can’t go anywhere because I’ve seen he’s a redneck moron already and I’m close enough to the car in front of me that I can read the wash me on the trunk of the car. I’m panicking a little now and he’s coming right up to my car, backing off, right up, and backing off. Then my completely irrational cave man friend does something even more frightening. He pulls out into the middle of the road and starts to pull in beside me. I have no choice but to move over or get side swiped. I tried slowing down but he slowed down with me forcing me to drive beside him in the breakdown lane, which is getting smaller now because were getting close to the light, which incidentally is red, and I will have to stop for it. I cannot speed up because “wash me” is still in front of me and they do not look like they are impressed at all. Finally, Mr. Personality pulls up and lets me in behind him. I am sure it was only a minute but god it felt like forever. He then stops at the red light and opens his door like he is getting out. I of course cannot back up because there is a Rider truck pulling up behind me and traffic is coming in the other direction. So what do I do, I pull out my trusty never works in Standish cell phone, roll up the windows, and lock all the doors. However, my brain donor friend does not want to get out and snap my neck. No, he just wants to spit at my car and wave to me using his middle finger while ranting about the c***’s of the world and how I should suck his abnormally large penis. This show of testosterone while appropriate at wrestling shows and racecar events did not have the affect of making me quake in my gothy attire. It in fact had me wondering how he had avoided evolution so completely and when were scientist going to realize the missing link drove a big red pickup truck in Standish Maine. I considered breaking out in a rousing country song as a show of support but my confused grin at this thought seemed to provoke his ire more. Luckily, the light turned green and the Rider truck made sounds of protest that they would like to move in a forward direction even if it meant over Mr. Penis Wrinkle and me, thus with a hearty one finger wave in my direction and a squeal of tire’s on pavement. We were separated, hopefully never to meet again. Then again, Standish is not so big and he might be a client here. Now wouldn’t that be a kick in the pants!
I just had some guy scare the ever-living piss out of me. I was pulling out of the bank on RT25 in Standish. It is fairly busy this time of day so I saw an opening and I took it. The large red pickup truck that was coming up the road was far enough away that I had plenty of time to make it. So, I’m pulling out of the lot. Someone is of course behind me and I am about halfway into the road when I see the stupid idiot in his red penis envy truck speed up! What does he think I can do at this point? I am in the damned road, there is a little old lady behind me blocking my escape backwards, and he is looking like he’s going to ram me. Therefore, I speed up and pull the rest of my car out. Well the idiot does not slow down he gets right up on my bumper and I mean right up. I can see him screaming and the spit flying out of his mouth quite clearly. I can’t go anywhere because I’ve seen he’s a redneck moron already and I’m close enough to the car in front of me that I can read the wash me on the trunk of the car. I’m panicking a little now and he’s coming right up to my car, backing off, right up, and backing off. Then my completely irrational cave man friend does something even more frightening. He pulls out into the middle of the road and starts to pull in beside me. I have no choice but to move over or get side swiped. I tried slowing down but he slowed down with me forcing me to drive beside him in the breakdown lane, which is getting smaller now because were getting close to the light, which incidentally is red, and I will have to stop for it. I cannot speed up because “wash me” is still in front of me and they do not look like they are impressed at all. Finally, Mr. Personality pulls up and lets me in behind him. I am sure it was only a minute but god it felt like forever. He then stops at the red light and opens his door like he is getting out. I of course cannot back up because there is a Rider truck pulling up behind me and traffic is coming in the other direction. So what do I do, I pull out my trusty never works in Standish cell phone, roll up the windows, and lock all the doors. However, my brain donor friend does not want to get out and snap my neck. No, he just wants to spit at my car and wave to me using his middle finger while ranting about the c***’s of the world and how I should suck his abnormally large penis. This show of testosterone while appropriate at wrestling shows and racecar events did not have the affect of making me quake in my gothy attire. It in fact had me wondering how he had avoided evolution so completely and when were scientist going to realize the missing link drove a big red pickup truck in Standish Maine. I considered breaking out in a rousing country song as a show of support but my confused grin at this thought seemed to provoke his ire more. Luckily, the light turned green and the Rider truck made sounds of protest that they would like to move in a forward direction even if it meant over Mr. Penis Wrinkle and me, thus with a hearty one finger wave in my direction and a squeal of tire’s on pavement. We were separated, hopefully never to meet again. Then again, Standish is not so big and he might be a client here. Now wouldn’t that be a kick in the pants!
posted by Lady_Tease at 1:52:00 PM
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